I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
