Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize