U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
