People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
