You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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