Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so let's talk penis.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
