they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
