doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
