I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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