i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Shame - the story of my life.
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