they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
