I got chris browned last night
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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