I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
