Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
