it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
A+ Viking dick
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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