Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
