flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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