i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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