I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
