Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
honey bunches of taint.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
