you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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