last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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