Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
