Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
