dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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