i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize