false alarm. still invincible.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
