Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Are we still banned from the library?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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