hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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