so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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