If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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