Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
