I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
