So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
