so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
