Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
