Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
