He asked to "fluff my boner.."
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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