Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
