I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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