dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
