I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
be right there i have to get my cape
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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