My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
