Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
