Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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