Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
