Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
