i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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