dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
