Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
