Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
