Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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