i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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