There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
